I find it incredibly difficult to hold space for the amount of pain I’m seeing at the moment. I think it was apropos that I made a blog post last week with drowning as the metaphor.
I fear for the future. I feel like all the knowledge I bothered to acquire in the last 45 years has just been replaced with “Because I said so.” There isn’t even any appeal to authority, just a bluntness that overwhelms me, and I find myself doubting my own eyes/ears/reasoning/observations.
The thing that is bothering me most, though, is that I’m also afraid of the judgement of my friends, fearing that I won’t be considered to be doing enough.
I am trying to hold onto a longer story, the world that we have been yearning for with all our various activisms and actions, research and resistance, our permaculture, democratic reform advocacy, alternative social structures… the list is endless. What I’m trying to speak of in this video, which I titled, “Resting with Uncertainty,” is the need now, more than ever, to believe that they are all necessary simultaneously… and to recognize that no one of us actually has the capacity to hold them all at once.
I certainly don’t.